When are we going back to Haiti?

Its a question we are getting asked every day, and the truth is we don't know the answer.

When we came back to Brisbane for a break and to begin raising our support we didn't know how long we would be here. We guessed we would be back in Haiti by some time in January 2012. Yet here we are midway through Febuary and we still dont know what the timeline looks like.

The truth is our support raising has not gone the way we assumed it would. When we left Australia bound for Haiti in 2010 we paid our own way, we sold almost everything and used our savings to finance the mission. We knew clearly God had called us to Haiti but we had no clue why or what we were to do there, so we didnt feel comfortable asking people to support us when we had so few details.

We thought our money would last until around August 2011 but by the grace of God our savings lasted until November 2011. Having now spent all of our savings winning the lotto, robbing a bank or raising the support we need are the only ways to go back to where we know we are supposed to be.

Robbing a bank would be an unlikely and uncharacteristic choice, winning lotto an unlikely option seeing as we don't buy tickets, so support raising it is. 

 I am not sure what we where expecting. We must have had a rather romantic view of how the support raising would go. I guess we thought we would tell our story, tell the story of what God was doing in and through us and that would be it enough, everyone would climb over each other to want to be part of it. Ok maybe not climb over each other but at least jump at the chance of being part of something big, something different, something life changing.

To some degree that has happened some of our nearest and dearest have got behind us straight away, which is extremely encouraging. What has also been encouraging is the surprises, the people that supported us that we have never even met before. People that have heard our story from others and decided they wanted in on the action.

Although we are deeply greatful for the support we have recieved and so excited to see who is coming on this journey with us we are still very short of what we need to raise before we can get on the plane. Becasue we are constantly getting asked this question I felt I needed to let everyone know exactly where we are at.

A good friend who's currently a missionary in Haiti once said to me "Don't leave home without the support you need, Haiti is stressful enough without worrying about how you will pay for food." As much as I am more than happy to get on a plane and wait to see how God provides I can see the wisdom of what my friend and others back home are saying. Wait on God get the funds together and then get on a plane.

So how much do we still need before we can go?

We still need to raise around $40,000. I know that's sounds like a huge number but when you break it down it becomes so much more managable.

We have upfront costs like plane tickets and rent etc but we also have monthly expenses like food, electricity etc. So if you prefer to join with us on a monthly basis that's great or if you would prefer up front that is also totally fine. Please let me be clear we are not trying to put pressure on anyone we simply wanted to tell you all where we are up too and why we have not left Australia yet.

We are also on the look out for more prayer partners if you would like to be a committed prayer partner please click the link below and we will add you to the team.

So here we are stuck between two worlds, still loving and soaking up the time with family and friends banking memories, all the while longing to be where we know we are supposed to be working with and loving the Haitian people. As you finish reading this would you please pray for us that the support we need will come in and that as we wait we will have His peace knowing His timing is perfect.

If you would like to be a prayer partner please click here.

If you would like to be a financial partner please click here.

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to call me on 0468 364 701 or email me here.

If you would like us to come and speak at your church or home group please email me here.

Thank-you for being on this journey with us.

So what does it cost to be a mssionary?

I wish I knew!!!!

Obviously it costs money to be a missionary but that's not what I am talking about.

I dont really feel qualified enough to answer that question having only lived 9 months on the job. I do know that some days it costs more than I expected and then other days less. No two days are ever the same here, that much I have learnt.

I know days like today when I am sad and missing home that the price feels high. It feels high when I see photos of my nieces and nephews and my best friends kids growing up without us. It feels high when we miss important milestones, babies being born, weddings, parties, family weekends, or missing my girlfriend catch up sessions. The cost seems almost unbearable when one of our closest friends battles cancer and we are not there to hold her hand, or hug her boys.

I know that we will probably feel the cost of living in Haiti for the rest of our lives. One of my friends recently wrote "I want to go back to 2009 before I knew better" I cant imagine what life outside of mission would look like anymore.

It costs me to know I won the lottery when I was born in Australia and what a difference that win makes.

If you asked me last week what my favorite scipture verse is I would have said Luke 12:48.

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

I used to use this verse to spur me on, to not cease and to try to follow what I was called to do. I used to kid myself that I didn't take my life for granted and that I knew I was blessed. Today this verse feels heavy. After living here, I trully know what it means to be "entrusted with much" and the weight of what is asked sometimes feels unbearable.

Most days here I feel unworthy of what I have been entrusted with and unqualified for the task at hand. 

After losing our son Isaac, God had slowly but surely bought us back from a very deep ravine we were in. Our lives were together. We had a house, a dog we adore, I loved my job we had even talked about trying to have a family again. Then everything changed. Our world was turned upside down and I am weighing the cost.

The world looks different it looks bleaker, more painful and feels so far from redemption. Its not that this just happened its just that our eyes have been opened. Ive learnt there is a price to pay for knowledge and I get the feeling its not a one time visit to the checkout. Some days I just wish I could open the drawer and put on my rose colored glasses even just for awhile.

In November we will fly back to Australia to rest, catch up with our nearest and dearest try to make up for what we have missed. We will also be raising our support for 2012. We wanted to use our money and savings to pay for the first year of mission. We didnt have a clue why we were called here so we didn't feel right about asking for money. My A type personality hate's the thought of someone else paying for my rice bubbles. I want to be sick just thinking about it. I think mainly its the final realization that I have to surrender everything if I am going to let God do what he has planned. Don't hear a word of this blog in any way doubting why we are here. We know we are supposed to be exactly where we are are. There are days like today when I wonder if I can ever get out of His way long enough for Him to do what He needs to do.

The stupid part is that I have seen God already work miracles since we arrived here.  It sounds funny to say but I don't have a single doubt He will provide. It just costs my strong will and pride to be humble enough to say "I cant do this alone".

If this blog was an accounting ledger the last cost would have to be firmly in the "Good for me." column. Just not sure where the other costs go, and what the tally looks like. Don't think I want to know.

I think I want this to be my new favorite verse.

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:29-30

Bec